Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
