I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
