We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
