OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
