Please, let me fuck your mom
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
