just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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