He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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