i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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