Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
