It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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