I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
