People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
