I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
