Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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