wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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