First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
