Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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