do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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