He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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