I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize