So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize