I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
