Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
