I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well you can't waste a boner
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
