just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
