Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
