she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
