tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
