I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
