Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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