Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
