Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
