I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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