somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
