Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
