guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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