RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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