Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
