did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
