I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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