I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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