I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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