no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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