Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
