he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
