That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
