I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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