you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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