Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize