wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
