Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just pee around me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
