I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
