Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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