I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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