Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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