Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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