turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
