my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
