when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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