Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
