I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
