peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His nipple licking is glorious
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