some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
